Attempt Per Se Should be Appreciated

Can I tell you something? I think an attempt per se should be appreciated. Regardless of the end result, regardless of whether you succeed or fail, regardless of how other's think you did, the attempt by itself is enough to win your appreciation. 

My 2019 Word of the Year - Attempt

Gladly, right before the global pandemic hit us all out of blue, I picked "Attempt" as my word of the year. I hoped to open up to more novice experiences and push myself out of my cosy comfort zone, and I decided to progress from the smaller attempts. 

As silly as it might sound, I tried my best to capture all the littlest and seemingly too-insignificant-to-even-mention attempts I did in 2019. By that I mean, "Attending my first ever 8 am lecture", "Trying a new hairstyle to school (I've been sticking to one fix hairstyle for yearsss)", "Using the instant photo printing service". And of course, there were some critical attempts I made that gave me a mystical turn. 

Looking back at these proofs (photos and captions) still gives me inexplicable joy. It empowers me to keep trying. Yet the funny thing is, out of all these attempts, how many ended with a successful outcome? Well, I nailed some, but there were definitely some tragic failures. I can still remember those moments when I felt hopeless, felt like giving up, entirely burned out and desperately wanted to hide in my cave. 

Throughout this one whole year of constantly trying, I gained two important insights: 1) We (or maybe just me) easily undermine the effort and energy required to try. But the trust is, trying is an effortful action, we have to jump out of our comfort zone and it's easier said than done. On top of that, 2) this effortful action is not receiving the appreciation and acknowledgement it deserves. However, appreciation could be the key to more attempts, and this is a cycle.

But Why it is Effortful to Try? 

Every one of us possesses thousands of learned skills, patterns of thinking and ways of behaving through a long period of development (since childhood), these moves are eventually automated and require very little effort [1] (Logan, 1988). Well then, interrupting and breaking these habits means we consciously fight against the easy, undemanding option, and deliberately take on the challenging and exhausting option, which utterly disobeys our human nature.

Certainly, we shouldn't miss out on one of our greatest enemies of all times, worry. Worry is like a stopper for us to step forward. We worry about failing our attempts, we worry about the consequences and perhaps, we worry because we don't know what's coming up. And there are times where we are pretty sure the attempt will lead us to confront our deepest fear. Obviously, no one loves these feelings, therefore if we don't try, we won't have to risk feeling uncomfortable, at least we don't force ourselves into it.

So what's the way out?

Start Small: The Tiniest Attempt is also an Attempt

Imagine you're a person who never reads and your goal is to pick up reading. Here are two of the approaches: "Attempt to finish a book" v.s. "Attempt to start reading a book". Notice how they both are attempts. Attempt is a verb, a move. Whether you try something big or try small, the verb "try" is still here. 

Then, some might say, "Attempt to start reading a book" is too easy to do, it's not worth mentioning. But who says an attempt must be something over the sky and way out of your league? 

It's the shifting of our viewpoints that alters whether we succeed in our attempts or not. 

All tasks at first can be tough, but if we try and break it down into smaller pieces of attempts (small goal victories, anyone remembers?), we can manage this big and challenging task step by step! From my experience, seeing that I can take a baby step out of my comfort zone actually boosts my confidence to take the next step, that's why I emphasised recording even the smallest attempts I made in 2019. So can you! Be proud of all the little steps you take. Be your biggest supporter!

And most importantly, we believe every attempt (no matter how insignificant it seemed) actually trains us in ways we oversee. For example, our endurance, tolerance, persistence, Adversity Quotient (AQ) and Emotional Quotient (EQ) and countless more. Thus, don't underestimate your tiniest attempt! 

There's nothing more terrifying than a blank page. But once we step out, the next chapter becomes much easier to write. - Lori Gottlieb

Attempting Doesn't Mean being the Yes Man

So by encouraging you to try, does it mean we have to go to an extreme where we try literally everything? In the movie Yes Man, the main character attempted to say yes to all offers that came his way. But eventually, he found himself blindly trying it all and got lost to the underlying purpose of saying YES. 

Well, "attempt to say no" is actually one of the hardest, but meaningful attempts of all times, too. Make sure you still take care of yourself and know your limit. This is an essential lesson we all have to learn throughout our "attempting journey". 

One of the World's Bravest Thing is to "Try Again"

In this journey, we will inevitably encounter certain challenge more than once. Our heartfelt admiration for those who keep trying. We understand how difficult it is to "try again". You might have to exert more mental strength and willpower to retry tasks that you failed than trying something thoroughly new. Why? Because it means we reflect and admit our weaknesses and mistakes, courageously make effort to overcome the past (and likely unpleasant) experience, and carefully plan for the next strive. And we can all agree that it's way harder than it sounded. 

But here's an insight given by a parental figure of mine, during a turmoil when I was overburdened having to prepare for my next re-attempt. She enlightened me with this:

Multiple failures don't imply you'll fail again in your upcoming attempt. Instead, all these failures are cornerstones that build up your final, breathtaking success.

Can I tell you something? I think an attempt per se should be appreciated. I think we should give ourselves a pat on the back after every little attempt. Regardless of the end result, the most critical part is that you heroically tried, you did all you can at that given moment and that makes you a brave warrior. No matter what challenge you're dealing with at the current stage, please take a moment and be proud of how hard you've been trying. Let's keep fighting together.

Wholeheartedly,

The Lights Within

Source:

[1] Logan, G. D. (1988). Toward an instance theory of automatization. Psychological Review, 95(4), 492–527. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.95.4.492