Modify and Rewrite Your Definitions


Please, don't see, just a boy caught up in dreams and fantasies.

I think this blog is going to be rather personal. And to be honest, I'm not sure where this is heading... but we'll see :)


Are you the type of person whose internet surfer has thousands of tabs opened at once? This situation does not only apply to my electronic devices, but my brain. 

Perhaps I got inspired very easily, that's why I "casually" bear a bunch of messy thoughts in my head all day and it is sparkly active at midnight. These ideas range from upgrading my ACNH island, to "what if I create a brand new career path and lifestyle" kind of wilder ones. 

Before I even have a systematic word of the year, I vividly remembered choosing this loud word as my teenage years' goal - "extraordinary". Guess that doesn't require any further explanation. But the older I get, the more frequent I've been told, "be more pragmatic and realistic". It feels like gravity, constantly trying to pull me back on earth. Gradually, I started keeping these "otherwordly" thoughts inside my head, and doubt if I should spend more time acting than thinking. I question the meaning of these "atypical" ideas and the actual feasibility when it comes to real-world situations. 


What's Pragmatic After All?

Yes, some of my late-night ideas aren't the most functional, in terms of helping my schoolwork, my career, etc. Yet, without these fantastical thoughts, I might have missed many chances to experience different aspects of life, lives outside of schoolwork and my profession. Some examples are, I have my own fanfic, I merge lyrics that share similar underlying messages, I recreate movie posters. 

So, now the question is, how should we measure the usefulness of these activities? If we consider the financial benefits, academic success as the most important measurements, these activities might barely be practical to my CV and not at all win me any trophies, certificates or recognition, plus I am not at all working in the creative industries. But if we take a step back and consider the enjoyment, the sense of achievement, the room for me to executive my creativity and originality, and the channel to balance my emotion whilst working on these extracurricular activities... I would say these activities have a huge pragmatic function on my mental health. 

Throughout the last half a year, my schedule was so packed and I always had a long list of urgent tasks to complete. My space to do these leisure activities was ever so limited, I rarely had time to write and to make art. Turned out, I think my emotional regulation and mental health were so fragile, and I really didn't feel - alive. Personally, I think our individuality is one of our most valuable assets, what made us special are our originality and our thought processes. As for me, I feel grounded when I express my thoughts and ideas via different tools. This is how I learnt the actual practicality of these extracurricular activities to my life - they are my coping mechanisms and I don't want to live without them.  

So, "What's pragmatic after all?", who do you think is the rightful judge? 


What's Realistic After All?

"Okay, I got you, it's for your mental health, right?" Or it is just that?

Other than the effect on mental health, I've been thinking recently, are my dreamy thoughts no mere than a dream, why can't my unconventional thoughts be made real?

Seeing what's happening these years, especially the evolutionary changes that are happening on a daily basis - telehealth therapeutic services, VTubers, photo of the black hole, the metaverse... and countless new terms, trends, concepts going viral. I can't help but think, do we still have so call "impossible"? Do we still have to limit ourselves to today's reality?

"The multiverse is a concept about which we know frighteningly little." [1]

Who knows what the future has in store for us? If everyone strikes for what's currently available, and only do what they are good at, many discoveries won't be unearthed, novel technologies won't be invented, new music genres won't be lauched. Without the courage to think outside of the present reality, we will all stay the same, living a life that's likely repeating itself day after day, generation after generation. I'm not saying it's awfully bad and we should thoroughly eradicate it, but that's just not what I want.

There's gotta be someone who dares to dream. So why can't I?

Let's say a school subject and its related career. We are always encouraged to decide where we want our life to head since school years, as it saves us precious time to wander around aimlessly, right? Around ten years ago, I had to choose which high school electives I wanted to study. Many of my classmates had a pretty clear picture of what they wanted to do in the future, but that wasn't my case - I didn't have a clear answer back then. I thought I have yet to find a course and its relevant career that I really see myself in. But ten years later, I'm still undecided. But now I ask myself why, why must I settle on the existing list?

As mentioned, I wanted to be "extraordinary" when I was younger, this is no longer how I feel. I don't want to go against gravity just because I wanted to be seen as special. I just feel like what's currently available doesn't best suit my skill set. So, instead of trying to look for the "relatively best-fit" model and fit in, why can't I explore more options and generate my own modified model that is tailored-made based on my personality, strengths and weaknesses? 

What I really wanted to say is - if all the existing definitions don't define you, then don't try to force yourself to be defined by the existing vocabulary - create your own word. 

Maybe some say I'm still rebellious and know very little of how cruel reality is. But perhaps that's exactly why I need to cherish these wild thoughts, that's exactly why I need to seize the opportunity to challenge every rule, every definition, every boundary while I still have the courage to do so. And today, I'm still convinced that there are endless new possibilities out there and I ask myself to continue to be open-minded, boundlessly open-minded.


Your ideas do not have to be based on an existing _____, you can create something into existence. 


Don't close the tabs because others ask you to. Let your ideas flow.


Wholeheartedly, 

The Lights Within


May this blog serve as a reminder to my future self, to remember how daringly rebellious your thoughts were. And please continue to fight for persevering your uniqueness.


"Is there another way for me to paint the sky?"

If you’re asking me, you’re asking me

there is, there is, there is.

- Mansonvibes (QUEST?ON) [2]


References

[1] Marvel Studio (2021). Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness Trailer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rt_UqUm38BI&ab_channel=MarvelEntertainment


[2] Mansonvibes (2022). QUEST?ON. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oAuIzvCvqY

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