Trust Your Journey
We, humans, are social beings, we tend to define ourselves by those in relation to us. Well, then, have you ever feel like you're a misfit, or fallen behind while comparing yourself with your friends at the same age group? Do you doubt yourself for what you're doing, especially when your life is not at all resembling others? Do you feel this stand-out is somewhat unpleasant, although you've done nothing wrong or guilty?
Graduated. Now what?
Not sure if other people my age feel like this, in between this transition when you've graduated from college or university and heading towards the working adult life, you feel lost, and constantly doubting yourself and your life choices. Or at least that's me.
A friend of mine is about to graduate from university, studying music performance. Let me share her honest, solid feelings at the very moment:
Seems like this is the official landmark where "work-life", "career", "job", etc become the most discussed topics between friends at around the same age. And the ordinary pathway always goes like this: graduate, hunt for a job, work. However, people who are struggling with this transitional process often encounter voices, pressures and even judgements,
"You should really get a job, I'm worried about you."
"You're twenty-something, it's time you get a full-time job."
"Chop-chop, don't waste time. What are you waiting for?"
I'm absolutely positive that not all people mean to judge or hurt, but to be really honest, it just feels heavy. Unfortunately, not all graduates are blessed with a smooth transitioning from education to employment. One of the problems is, education and university programmes are not always sufficient by themselves to provide access to an entry position in a chosen career [1], there are always gaps between what you learnt from the education system and what skills the occupation requires.
The global youth unemployment rates are 13%, which is double the national unemployment rate [2]. So, to this 13% of youthful and bright souls, you're not alone. 13% is a huge number and you're not atypical. Trust the journey, the best is yet to come. Keep being you, and the opportunity will come at you while you actively seek it.
Do What You Love
Meanwhile, some young people decide not to become working adults immediately after graduation. Perhaps they want to pursuit non-academic or non-work-related goals and dreams. But likewise, they face confrontation. As for today's society, seems like having a full-time job implies one's stability and defines maturity.
In my opinion, nonetheless, life is way more than just a career and work. There are dreams and greater goods worth fighting for, there are interests and extracurricular activities we love, there are non-professional relationships we want to build, there is happiness a job cannot offer. Unpopular opinion? I'm not sure. If so, why not?
Adulthood is way more than a career choice or a job,
let that job title not be your only identity.
These goals and dreams are very personal: maybe it's the passion to create a new invention, or the desire to be an artist fill with your own characteristics, or, as little as the wish to send love and spread positivity to people who need it. Oftentimes, these dreams are not noticed and sponsored immediately. But please, remember why you initiated it, even when people sneer at your dream, and how many people ask you to give up, and beg you to be more "down-to-earth" and "kneel down to the reality". I believe one day you will encounter someone who appreciates your irreplaceable talents and smart, brilliant, wholesome ideas.
The truth is, our choice might not be understood by all, and you don't have to make everyone understands it either. You are the only one standing at your position, 360-degrees viewing everything from your perspective and know terribly well how the external factors influence or even restrict your decisions (e.g. financial pressure, family issue, your strengths and boundaries). For that reason, no matter how hard you try to describe your vision to another person, they won't fully understand, because they cannot really put themselves into your shoes and see things from your point of view. As a consequence, other's opinion, can of course, be taken into account, yet you're still the author of your book.
Don't let AGE limits your choice
There ain't no manual telling us what one should do at each age. Although there are labels floating around our society saying things like, at 18, you should start your tertiary education; at around 22 or 23, you should have graduated and start working as a full-time; at roughly 25 to 30, you should get married and might as well have a child. No. There aren't any rules and standards, what these really are, just a label.
Do bear in mind that you are the only decision-maker of your life, let no one influence your choice. It's your story, feel free to hit'em with a plot twist whenever you want.
May this passage be a little reminder for those who feel lost in the way while chasing for their dreams, or feel pressured when their life choices / lifestyles are different from the popular ones. Popular doesn't mean it's for you. Be you.
Do what you love and love what you do.
Wholeheartedly,
The Lights Within
Sources:
[1] Dhakal, S., Prikshat, V., Nankervis, A., & Burgess, J. (Eds.). (2019). The Transition from Graduation to Work: Challenges and Strategies in the Twenty-First Century Asia Pacific and Beyond. Springer.
[2] ILO. (2016). World employment social outlook - trends for youth. Geneva: International Labour Office ILO).
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