The Lights Within Children

While we've been talking about mental health and wellness, there's one population we haven't really touched on. I've just been introduced to a children's book on mental wellness, and I'm hugely inspired and reminded again just how essential it is to bring awareness to children's mental well-being. 

Both of us have been studying children's development since uni days and have been working with children for a while now. We've been taught about their language and motor milestones, school readiness, early social skills and so on. These are undoubtedly some of the most discussed topics between parents and the early childhood sector, it is also where many parents' concerns laid. Books about early childhood possess an entire shelf in the book store (if not an entire corner); hundreds of results will show up when you search online. Basically, information about children's development and physical health is quite accessible and fairly established.

But comparatively, children's mental health and well-being are not as highlighted. It is understandable, still. Utilising Marlow's Hierarchy of Needs Model (see the graphic below) [1], physiological needs are the foundation, the cornerstone. Without fulfilling these basics (e.g. physical comfort, motor flexibility, language capabilities), the rest are slightly trickier to build. But when we look closely at the model, psychological needs play pretty important roles in shaping the way we see ourselves (like the tone of our self-talk). Many different research findings report that early-year psychological states are significant predictors of one's later years. That's why children's mental health is a topic worth shedding more light on. Our hope is that the importance of children's mental health is as accessible and widespread to the public as the other areas. 

Children's mental health is a massive topic and there is a lot to unpack. To ease in, one of the deep-rooted topics is to assist children in developing a positive relationship with their emotions. A healthy relationship sets up a basis for mental health in later years. Also, research has found children's emotion management skills intercorrelate with their academic performance, interpersonal success, behaviours and mental health [2]. This blog will very briefly introduce one of the many ways to bring out the lights within our little buddies! 

Step 1 - Identify

Our emotions are not just in our brain, it affects our body as a whole. As adults, we are more aware of our body changes and familiar with the literal embodiment of these emotions (e.g. heart racing, heated temperature, headache, teary etc). Whereas these could be novel experiences for young children, they might find these bodily sensations strange to feel, and might not know how to react. Imagine how frustrating it can be!

Therefore, it is important to discuss emotion openly so children at least know they can consult and get support from the adults around them if they ever wanted. A more proactive approach is to pre-emptively educate children about different internal sensations in our bodies alongside emotions. Here are some of the ways: 

• Associate the body sensation with emotional vocabularies: matching emotion to pictures and facial expressions. This helps to condition children to consolidate the relationship between emotional words and their body sensations. 
• Discussion of signs that indicate emotions: Understand the fact that we would feel heart racing, heavy breathing, clenched fists and jaw, tense shoulders and muscles, speak quicker or even louder. What do they mean? Have you ever felt that before?

Step 2 - Describe

Language development surely is important to mental health, this doesn't just apply to children, but to adults. Imagine desperately wanting to let out the emotion, but getting stuck because you couldn't find the right word to fully express yourself. That tip-of-the-tongue experience doesn't sound particularly pleasant. 

As grown adults, we pretty much simultaneously use both verbal and non-verbal channels to express what our hearts feel. We are usually flexible jumping between the different channels while gradually leaning toward our personal, preferred methods. But since young children's verbal language and vocabulary size are still growing, sometimes they might find it hard to convey their feelings in words, and their helplessness could transfer to crying, whining, and screaming. These kinds of non-verbals are socially acceptable up to a certain age range, then it will be seen as throwing tantrums, or problematic behaviours, and so the snowball rolls. 

That's why early education on expressing feelings is important. Expanding the diversity of emotional vocabulary can help children communicate their feelings more effectively. The more they have been exposed to these expressions, the more likely they will use them in their everyday situation. 

Cartoons and book reading times are some great ways to introduce or emphasise these emotional vocabularies. Depending on age, this can range from simpler descriptions such as happy, sad, and angry, to more advanced levels such as proud, annoyed, and butterfly in the stomach. 

Step 3 - Express / Application 

So, after knowing the words, how are we going to make use of them? 

We all know there are hundreds of variations to express emotions. The same phrase can be presented in multiple ways and the meaning can vary differently. While we also know young children mimic the adults around them pretty quickly... sometimes a bit too quick we just didn't see it coming... That's exactly it. We are their first role models. But that doesn't mean we have to be perfect in every way, or that we cannot be angry for example. Instead, what we have to do is, manage our emotions and try our best to display appropriate behaviours (calm and non-aggressive). Get to know our own internal and external signs. Children learn from the way you behave, not just the things you talk.

Another important element is to let children know that all feelings are normal and natural. Comment on the appropriateness of the behaviours, not their feelings. This should be made clear and distinctive to them, for example, "It is okay to feel mad, but the way you throw an object is not..." 

This ties to another point, acknowledge and validate their feelings when they put feelings in words (also to reinforce the first two steps). This provides an encouraging and safe environment for children to express their emotions, and thus, reinforces their emotion management.

Wow. This is indeed a lot of content. It also took me a while to finish this blog. But again, we think there are many ways to introduce these mental health concepts to children, and children's books are one really useful medium. Under our "Resource" section right down the bottom of this blog, we have a very useful link that suggests different children's books, and even categorised in different themes and for specific populations (e.g. children with learning difficulties) [3]! 

Hope this is helpful!

Wholeheartedly,

The Lights Within 

P.S. Special thanks to "Hattie Harmony: Worry Detective" for the inspiration. 

Resources:

[1] McLeod, S. A. (2022, April 04). Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Simply Psychology. www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

[2] Rivers, S. E., Brackett, M. A., Reyes, M. R., Mayer, J. D., Caruso, D. R., & Salovey, P. (2012). Measuring emotional intelligence in early adolescence with the MSCEIT-YV: Psychometric properties and relationship with academic performance and psychosocial functioning. Journal of Psychoeducational Assessment, 30(4), 344-366.

[3] Cicero, K. (n.d.) 44 Children's books about mental health. Child Mind Institue. https://childmind.org/article/best-childrens-books-about-mental-health/